A Newt

Is it easy for something to knock your mood? What is it that tips you from feeling up to feeling down?

I used to be ‘up and down’ depending on how I perceived life to be going. When something went well, I’d feel content; when I made a mistake, I’d feel like a total failure. When people included me, I’d feel fine; when they were unkind, I’d feel crushed. At times, my emotional response was out of proportion to the situation that sparked the feeling. 

Why was daily life such an exhausting emotional roller coaster? 

I believe God helped me to see that it was because I was behaving like a newt! It’s not just me – I have supported many people who also behave like newts! Let me explain…

As a cold-blooded creature, a newt finds its warmth from its surroundings. A cold newt will quickly warm up in the sunshine, whereas an overly warm newt finds a welcome shady hideaway under a rock or plant. A newt uses its environment for warmth. 

I could see that this was exactly what I was doing! I was using my environment; I was hot or cold depending on circumstances. In particular, I was seeking emotional warmth, and my sense of worth and security, from the people around me.

However, my worth and sense of acceptance does not need to come from people nor achievement; my true worth and belonging are found in Jesus Christ. In Him is a continuous and ever-flowing stream of love that humans cannot give me.

With the realisation that my behaviour had been like a newt seeking its warmth in the sun, I now remember that my ‘warmth’ comes not from people and situations, but from being in the Son, Jesus Christ, and soaking up the truth that I am accepted by God. 

Of course, life hurts at times, but in Jesus, I’m no longer on an emotional roller coaster.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord for ever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4